


Can I Keep You?

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-20
Updated: 2010-04-20
Packaged: 2018-09-07 19:04:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8812525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Having to move into a new home, Jensen gets more then he wanted. Or maybe it's just what he wished for...He finds the one he never knew he looked for, but finding doesn't always mean keeping...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Even if this Story has Character Death, PLEASE continue reading. I PROMISE this story will have a Happy End.

Red rimmed eyes looked down from the top window of the huge mansion in West Hollywood.

 

"Mom! Stay with me! Please!" The young man shouted but nobody heard him... ever.

Nobody stayed, they always left, left him alone in this cold mansion.

He watched as his mother opened the door to her car and looked up, up to his window where he stood, and waved goodbye to her.

 

Just as he always had.

 

But she never waved back. She didn't know he was still there, still in his room in the house which should have become his home.

It never really would, or could, because this mansion wasn't a home for him. It was his prison.

He was captured, trapped in a world that he never really belonged to.

A house that he never would call 'home'.

A world that never really had accepted him for who he was.

But he couldn't remember why, or how he died, with time he had lost all memories of his life, his life before he died.

All his memories had simply faded away. First the memories of his friends and then as time went by, even the one's of his family.

The only memory he had left was the one of his mother, but only because she came to visit the mansion from time to time with strangers.

But the strangers never stayed, they always left, and never came back.

No one wanted to live in a 'haunted' mansion. Everyone was afraid of ghosts since that fucking movie 'Poltergeist' but nobody ever thought that ghosts could also be like 'Sam'. He shivered. Patrick Swayze still drove him wild. Not to mention he was always kind of hooked on all the paranormal stuff. Or at least he thought he did. 

 

How he wished that someday one of the strangers would stay.

Every time a new stranger came, he always wished, hoped and prayed that this was the one. The one that would stay with him.

But he knew that even if they did stay, he would never have the chance to speak to them, because he was invisible for the living ones.

They felt him, felt his sadness and loneliness, but they couldn't see or hear him. He had tried everything to get attention, making noises, throwing doors close, but always failed.

They always left. They were afraid of the sadness and loneliness they felt in the house. Then, he would be left all alone once again.

Until the next time someone would visit and he would try it all over again.

In hope that someday he maybe WOULD get attention, that somebody wasn't afraid of the sadness and loneliness that surrounded him, and would stay to change it. To make him feel even a little alive again. To bring happiness back into his cold world.

And so he stayed and waited praying for that day to come soon.

 

Why couldn't anybody see that he was lonely, why couldn't anyone see him at all? Was he damned to an eternity of loneliness?

Tears ran down his face as he watched his mother drive away and disappear into nothingness.

In the east the sun slowly sunk into the horizon, only to go up on the other side of the continent.

How he wished that one day he would have the opportunity to be there. On the other side of this window. On the other side of the horizon.

To see the sunrise for one last time before he truly died or went into the light, if it really existed.

 

"See ya..." he mumbled before he turned away from the window to get back to his photo albums.

It was the only thing that was left for him from his former life.

No one ever came into this room. The studio.

Because his mother always told the people who visited the mansion that this room was still under construction. Oh how wrong they were. 

But he knew that his mother herself couldn't enter the room, wasn’t able to, to stuck up on her own emotion when she entered the room. This room should have been his room.

But he died before he got the chance to live in it.

To his amazement, every time he left the room to walk around in the house and came back later, there were new photographs ready to be finished on. 

His walls already were filled with pictures he had supposedly taken over the years.

He had no idea of how many because he had stopped counting a few years ago. Time doesn't matter when you're dead and only waiting for the final call.

Pictures of people and places he didn't know or couldn't remember anymore were captured on the photographs. Pictures that should remind him of his past life, but somehow he couldn’t remember it anymore. 

A beautiful brown haired girl appeared on most of his photographs.

Somehow he knew that she was important to him when he was alive, but he had forgotten her to. Forgotten all about her. She looked familiar to him, but he could be wrong, as you weren’t able to see your own face as a ghost. 

He knew that he wouldn’t be able to take another picture of her, showing and expressing the same feelings, ever again.

Because, now to him she was only a pretty face. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Every time he looked at all the pictures, he got sad trying desperately to remember something of his past life.

His mind was empty, there wasn't really anything more to remember.

He wondered how long it would take for him to forget his mother too.

Before she would stand in front of him and he wouldn't know who the hell she was and what she was doing in HIS house.

He was frightened of that day. The day he would lose his last memory.

The last part of himself. 

 

*******

He was scanning the yellow pages, he didn't know how he got into this situation, but somehow a couple of weeks ago he got a phone call from his lawyer saying that he had full custody of a five year old. Apparently his son, as blood test he got back this past week clearly proved. It seemed his parents had decided to get a divorce and didn't want a little boy caught up in all the mess that soon would start. So one of his former affaires now had felt the need to finally contact him to tell him he had a son. 

 

_'And here I thought I would never get the chance to be a dad. Guess I was more then wrong about that fact.'_ The blond haired man thought and sighed.

 

Now he didn't only have to watch over his son, no, he even had to move. Move out of his apartment in the middle of LA, because according to child care the environment he currently lived in wasn’t child friendly. No shit, because he hadn’t bought it with a kid in mind to begin with.

And he had no fucking clue where to start with his search.

The apartment definitely was too small for two people, hell sometimes it was even too small for himself, especially if he had company by Chris and Steve. 

Having Jam Sessions in his apartment with a five year old trying to get to sleep for school wasn’t what he called a chilled out evening. 

He sighed and turned another page while he sipped his coffee.

He had taken a day off work, so that he would have the time to look for a realtor.

_'It couldn't be impossible, to find only one fucking realtor who knows his business, could it?'_ The blond thought and sighed. He had nearly lost all hope and was almost at the end of a long list of realtors that he knew nothing about. 

 

"Dad! Watch out!" Before he could react, the small tennis ball hit the cup, which stood beside the yellow pages, and splashed coffee all over the book.

 

DisShawnted Jensen grabbed for the now coffee soaked ball and carried it over to sink, but not before throwing a stunned gaze in his son's direction.

 

"What have I told you about tossing the ball in the apartment, Shawn?" The blond growled, grabbed a cloth and went back to his desk to clear the mess, but regretted it immediately when he saw his son’s quivering under lip. 

 

“I’m sorry Shawn. I didn’t wanna shout at you. I’m still getting used to you living with me. I’m all new to the dad department.” He said when he bend down to take his son in a hug. He heard his son sniff but felt him nod as well.

 

“Me too, Daddy.”

 

Somehow he felt relieved that he would soon move out of the apartment.

Then, finally, Shawn would have more room to play. He couldn't count the number of times in the last few weeks he'd had to wipe up after the boy. A broken glass here or a leaking glass of milk there. He was freaking tired of it. Hopefully he would find a capable realtor soon.

The Apartment didn't look like its old self anymore. In every corner you could see that a small boy lived with him.

Comics stuck out from under his white Italian sofa, toys were spread all around the apartment, and crayons were spread all over his desk. Not to mention that his once white walls were now decorated with dozens of Comic Book Characters. The Turtles being one of them. Yesterday he even found one of these weird Bionicles in his bed!

He knew that clearing the desk was futile because it would be a total mess again in under five minutes.

It drove him nuts! He was so anal about having an organized home. Shawn certainly hadn't got that messy nature from his side of the family.

 

_'Fucking shit! Now I need to find a realtor AND a new yellow pages book!'_ He froze just as he started wiping the cloth over the coffee soaked book and noticed the name of the most popular realtor in Los Angeles. It was the only name which still could be read on the long list of the names. He had overlooked it before.

 

_'Sharon Padalecki‘._ Somehow the name sounded familiar to him.

He looked over to his son, when he remembered why the name sounded familiar.

The day he signed his contract for his actual series, he'd read an article in the newspaper at the flight over.

He could still remember the Headline **'Young talented actor Jared Tristan Padalecki (22) died last night after years of suffering from a heart defect'** , because he kinda felt he needed to read it. He could almost imagine how the boy's parents must have felt.

Then he had read the article and was shocked to find that the actor was outcast by his father when he found out that his son was gay, and that he never visited his son in the hospital in the last few weeks of his short life.

He still felt the anger rising in his body when he thought of that homophobic prick.

The blond haired man was pleased to know that at least Jared's mother stayed with him to the end.

He couldn't imagine ever letting his son down. He was his heart and his soul.

He picked up the phone and dialed the number. He knew his chances were slim that Mrs. Padalecki was still in her office at 8PM, but it never hurt to try.

 

_"Padalecki."_ A groggy voice was heard over the phone.

 

"Hi, my name's Jensen Ackles, and I'm searching for a place for my son and myself, can you help us?" Answered the actor in his best down to business voice, and heard someone giggle. He looked over at his son with a raised eyebrow, and his son only rolled with his eyes.

 

_"Of course Mister Ackles. May I ask you if you have some idea of what the house should look like, and what price range?"_ The woman asked in her business voice, and Jensen had to smile. The woman had balls.

 

"Money doesn't matter. It's only important that my son has enough room to play in the house. You can't imagine what a mess my home is like right now." Jensen answered without thinking and had to bite his lip when he realized what he'd just said. Fuck!

 

"I'm sor-" Jensen started but was interrupted. He knew that sorry was bullshit, but in this situation he couldn't help himself, from feeling it.

 

_"No, it's okay Mister Ackles. I'm quite used to people knowing about my son. He was quite popular before he died,"_ the sadness of her loss was still to be heard in the woman's voice.

 

"Yeah. So, do you have something in mind?" Jensen asked, and heard the woman turn some pages. 

 

_"Yes I have Mister Ackles. There's a house a little outside of Los Angeles, which I would like to show you. How about we meet tomorrow?"_ The woman asked and the ad-exec looked over to his son. 

 

"Shawn, do we have something planned for tomorrow?" He asked his son, who shook his head no.

 

"Tomorrow is okay. Should we meet you there, or do you want to get us?"

 

_"I will get you. The place is really hard to find, when you don't know where it is. It’s kind of secluded. May I have your address?"_ Jensen dictated her his address and said his goodbye's before he turned around again to his son.

 

"Well, Kiddo. Looks like tomorrow we go on a cruise to search for a new home for the both of us. How do you like that?" The actor picked his son up and cuddled him.

 

"That's great dad. Maybe I can find new friends there." The young boy answered enthusiastically and hugged his father back.

 

"Well then. It's well past your bedtime. Get ready for bed, I will be there in a few." He let his son down, and went over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

 

He sighed. Now Jensen fucking Ackles really had to grow up. He no longer was Peter Pan.

No more Jam Sessions with the guys, or wild parties, well at least not as much as before. There was only him and his 5 year old son.

 

*******

_**2 weeks later...** _

 

"So, that's it, Jensen. Here are your keys." Sharon Padalecki handed him the keys to his new 'house' frowning when Jensen looked down at his son, who smiled brightly up at him.

 

Sharon looked up to the top window. She always felt that there was something in there.

One day she almost believed someone was in there, that she could see someone - a shadow - in the window.

But that couldn't be. The room was locked up.

No one could be in there, but Jensen Ackles was the new owner now, so he had a right to open the door.

She was frightened for him. Somehow the house scared her. Something was in there. Something she didn't want to know about.

This house should have been Jared's but since Jared's death her feelings for the house had changed, when he was still alive she was always happy to be there, but now everytime she entered the house she felt a sadness and loneliness overcome her. Now everytime she was in there to show the house to a new client, she searched for the fastest way out, and now the house was Jensen's.

In the last 2 weeks she got to know him a lot - and since she lost her son a couple of years ago - in the time she was together with Jensen and his cute little son Shawn, she didn't feel so alone.

 

"Sharon, you know you can always come to visit. You're always welcome." Jensen offered after noticing the woman's discomfort. She shook her head.

 

"I'm sorry Jensen, but now that the house is sold I don't want to ever be near that house again. This house brings too many memories I'd like to forget." The realtor explained and Jensen nodded understandingly.

 

Sharon had told him for whom the house was meant to be, and somehow he had felt a little sad that her son never got the chance to live in this great Victorian house. It was simply built for an aspiring actor, away from the mainstream and secluded, but still close enough to the city.

 

"Jensen, if you like ehm... You could come to dinner with Shawn on Sunday if you like." Sharon offered and grabbed for the handle of her cardoor.

 

"Maybe we will do that. So you can teach me a little how to cook. I really suck at it, you know?" Jensen smiled tongue in cheek, which made Sharon laugh.

 

"Well, I don't think take-out food will feed Shawn all the time, so I will teach you. Then, let's say 2 PM on Sunday?" The realtor suggested and Jensen nodded.

 

"We'll be there." Jensen kissed her on the cheek and winked.

 

"So, if you excuse me. I have to go, find my son." Jensen waved her goodbye and turned around to go after his son.

 

*******

"Daddy, daddy. Can I go, pick out a room for me?", Shawn tugged at the hem of his father's shirt.

 

"Sure Kiddo." Jensen ruffled through his son's hair, before Shawn ran away to pick out his new room.

 

Jensen rolled his eyes and looked around his new house.

The huge entrance hall was impressive. High dark-red walls and a whirl at the roof. It just looked amazing.

He cocked his head and looked up the stairs and decided not to go up yet. He wanted to check the ground floor first. He even had a huge kitchen. Needlessly to say that he didn't think to use this room a lot.

He turned around and went into the living room. Jensen looked around and sighed at the view in front of him. Boxes were everywhere.

Some were stacked at the corner, some stood in the middle of the room.

Suddenly the hairs in his neck stood up and he turned around. Somehow he felt as if somebody was watching him.

 

"Shawn!?" He shouted and heard a quiet "Yes, dad?" from somewhere on the first floor.

 

"Okay, I just wanted to check where you were." Jensen shouted back.

 

The actor shook his head, turned around again and went further into the room.

Still he felt as if somebody was watching him.

But had to laugh right away. He felt hunted? He, who played a demon hunter on a television show? Ridiculous.

 

*******

He was just beautiful. His blond hair shimmered in the bright sunlight.

His eyes... He thought he could look through them right into the man's soul.

Somehow he cared for the two men in his house, he saw so much hurt and pain in the man's eyes, that he didn't even want to know what the man must have gone through in his life.

He only wanted to make him feel better. He had such a wonderful son, who loved him dearly. Why then did he always seem so sad?

He had watched him for a while now, and was still mesmerized. He was so gorgeous and handsome.

His cute little son, he had watched him too. For the first time in ages he had laughed at the boy's antics.

He went closer to the man and touched his cheek.

How he wished he could feel him. Feel his warmth. His breath on his skin. The touch of his hand. His lips on his skin.

He sighed. Another wish that wouldn't come true.

Suddenly the man turned around and for a short moment he thought he would look at him, only to see him look right through him in the next moment.

 

"Shawn!?" The man shouted and he felt tears build in his eyes.

 

Nobody would EVER see him.

After he heard the quite answer of his son, the man turned around again and shrugged his shoulders.

 

"I don't mind if you hang around the house, but all I'm saying is if I end-up getting disfigured, somebody's going to die." The man said to no one in particular and went over to the boxes.

 

He stepped back to the door. _'Could it be that the man knows that I'm here?'_ frightened he stepped further away.

 

"Well then, you won't have a problem because I'm already dead." He mumbled, and the man stood still.

 

Before he knew what was going on, he found himself back in his studio. 

Looking at a frightened little boy.

 

*******

Shawn had found his new room.

It was perfect for all his toys and comics, and he would be too far away from his father to get on his nerves.

He even had enough room to play with his tennis ball.

Shawn turned around and grabbed in his backpack releasing his tennis ball from its small prison.

He threw the ball up and caught it. He did this a few times before the ball slipped out of his hand and rolled over the old hardwood floor.

The young boy watched as the ball rolled over the floor and disappeared into one wall.

 

"What...?!" he mumbled and went after the ball.

 

There was a small crevice in the wall, but he couldn't see his ball. He put his hand in between the crevice and was surprised when it opened further. He took another step and slipped. In shock he closed his eyes, and when he opened them again he was in another room.

Bright blue walls, with Polaroids all over them. He was mesmerized and stood up and looked around, and that's when he saw his ball. In front of a large polaroid. He bent down to pick up his ball, when he noticed that the floor was clean. In the whole room there was no dust. It seemed that the room was still used. He frowned. That couldn't be.

 

_'Dad and me would have noticed, wouldn't we?'_ He thought and looked closer at the polaroid.

 

"Holy shit." He said and stepped back. 

 

He and his father were displayed on the Polaroid. Frightened he looked around and went back to where he came from. He shouldn't be here. He‘d never seen this room before, and that's when he noticed the door. He went over to it and wanted to open it, but it was locked.

 

"Dad!" He cried out, and tears started to build in his eyes.

 

He didn't know how to get out of the room, sat down in one corner and started crying. He was terrified. He only wanted to have his ball back, and now this. He was locked in a room and didn't know how to get out of it. His father couldn't hear him, because he was on the other end of the house. He pulled his legs up, put his head on his knees and closed his eyes. Tears ran down his face. He prayed that all this was just a dream. A nightmare.

 

"Fuck, his son." Shawn heard someone say and opened his eyes again.

 

In front of him was a young man. A tall young man, with brown hair and hazel eyes. Somehow he looked different. Pale. Transparent. Like a ghost. But instead of being frightened of the person in front of him, the boy was relieved. Relieved that he wasn't alone anymore. Somehow the young man reminded him of someone. The person came closer and Shawn felt a cold chill run down his spine. He got this feeling a lot lately.

 

"How did you get in here?" He asked noticing how frightened this person seemed.

 

"You, you can see me?" The young boy asked him and Shawn nodded.

 

He stood up, went over to the person and reached out to touch him, but before Shawn had the chance the person jerked back.

 

"Don't, don't touch me." He said and stepped further away.

 

*******

He was so fucking terrified. Someone could finally see him.

It was the first time in years that he could actually talk to someone.

The boy wanted to touch him. He didn't allow it. Couldn't allow it.

Was afraid to be touched. He would know what he knew. 

He knew that the boy's hand would go right through him.

 

"Why can't I touch you?" The boy asked and he shrugged his shoulders.

 

"You just can't, nobody can. See" He stepped forward and touched the boys hand.

 

It went right through it, like it wasn't there. He saw the boy frown.

 

"It feels weird. Like, when your hand falls asleep, but it's kind of cool. You touched me a lot of times this week, didn't you?" The boy asked him and Jared nodded.

 

He knew people could feel his presence, but never knew if they could actually feel his touch.

 

"By the way, I'm Shawn." the kid held out his hand and smirked. That expression reminded him so much of the boy's father, it was uncanny.

 

"Jared. Jared Padalecki, but if you like you can call me Jay." He answered and touched the young boy's hand again.

 

"Holy fucking shit. You're Sharon's dead son." The boy answered surprised and stepped back to have a better look at the person in front of him.

 

"Don't swear. Your father wouldn't like it one bit." Jared said smiling slightly.

 

"Where do you think have I learned all these words?" Shawn answered with a cocked eyebrow and tongue in cheek.

 

Jared rolled his eyes. Somehow he knew that he and the boy would become friends. Why not, when the boy was the only one who could see him.

 

"So, can you help me get out of here?" The boy asked and Jared shrugged shoulders again.

 

"I don't know how. I kind of go through closed doors. Being a Ghost does have advantages, in your case… Not so much." He explained and the boy wrinkled his nose.

 

"Can't you get my father up here?" With hope in his eyes Shawn looked at Jared. Or what was left of him.

 

"You know that you're the only one who can see me, right?" He asked frowning and Shawn nodded.

 

"Yeah, but can't you move things? Like a pencil? Try to get my father's attention." Shawn suggested and Jared started thinking about a way to get the man's attention.

 

"And you don't think it would scare your father to see things moving?" Jared asked suspicous.

 

"No, he would just think that his job had finally caught up with him. Just so you know, my dad plays a demon hunter on a show called ‘Supernatural’, so he wouldn’t be freaked out, or throw shit, but we do have the possibility for him to get a shotgun.." Shawn answered and bit his lip.

 

"Language Shawn." Jared reminded the boy smiling. "I'll see what I can do. If you'll excuse me now. I will try to get your father's attention. Without getting shot with rock salt. Just so you know, I do know of ‘Supernatural’." Jared bowed, winked and disappeared.

 

Shawn stayed where he was and looked around the room. Now that he knew who had taken all the pictures he risked a look at all of them. In the meantime Jared could try to get his father's attention. He would so love to see his father's expression when Jared made things start moving. He didn’t think that his dad actually believed in Ghosts and the lore that went with them, he just did his job by playing someone who witnessed and fought against them. 

 

*******

Jensen was still in the living room. Reading the slogans on all the different moving boxes. 'Shawn's room', 'Office', 'Bedroom'.

The boxes with 'Living room' on them were already unpacked, and the things that were in them were lying around the room.

He sighed. 'So much about being anal.' He thought to himself and grabbed a paper which had fallen off of the coffee table.

When he turned around, he couldn't believe his eyes.

That just couldn't be. There wasn't a pencil moving over a piece of paper.

Terrified he looked around the room, to see if somebody else was in there with him.

When he didn't see anyone he went closer to the paper and felt a cold chill run down his spine. Now he could read what was written on the paper.

 

_'Shawn needs your help. He's in the locked room. The one you never opened because the room scares you.'_ Was clearly visible on the slip of paper and Jensen frowned.

 

"Who are you, and why the fuck do you think I'm afraid of the fucking room? Why should I be scared at all? I play a fucking Demon Hunter on TV!" He shouted and was surprised when the pencil flew again over the paper.

 

_'Let's just say I'm onto you. And now get your fucking ass to the room. We don't have an eternity. Well, at least you haven't.'_ He read and smirked.

 

Whoever it was that was writing this had balls. At least he hoped that this 'thing' would turn out to be male.

 

_'Could you please stop thinking about my balls. It fucking confuses me here. Go get your son. And stop thinking about me.'_ Appeared on the paper and Jensen had to laugh.

 

"Okay, okay. Don't get your pants in a knot. I'm going." Jensen answered and left the room, but not before he grabbed the keys from the table.

 

*******

He was throwing the ball again. He didn't know it would take Jared this long to get his father's attention.

 

"Hey, I'm back." Shawn heard someone say, turned around and frowned.

 

"Jared? Are you here? I can't see you." Shawn looked around for a moment. He could finally see Jared's presence, but only for a few seconds before it disappeared again.

 

"What do you mean you can't see me?" Jared asked and looked at Shawn.

 

It seemed as if Shawn looked through him and then at him.

 

"Hmm... I can see you. Sometimes. Can it be that you used too much power down there?" Shawn said and cocked an eyebrow at Jared.

 

"I don't know, could be. Now just let me rest. I feel kind of exhausted." Jared exhaled slowly, even if he didn't need to, but he felt better when he did something he used to do when he was alive to cool himself down.

 

"So, you got Dad's attention?" Shawn asked Jared who sat beside him on the cold hardwood floor, and the young man nodded in response.

 

"He's on his way. At least I hope so." Just after he had finished his sentence, they heard a knock.

 

_"Shawn? Are you in there?"_ Jensen shouted and Jared could see the relief on Shawn's face.

 

"Yes, dad. Can you get me out of here?" Shawn asked, stood up and went over to the door.

 

_"Yes, wait a second. I have to find the right key... Holy shit. There are thousands."_ Jared heard Jensen mumble, sighed and rolled his eyes.

 

"Well, Shawn. Now, I know where you got your language from." He said smiling and stood behind the young boy. His power was back now.

 

A key was heard in the lock, and before they knew what was going on, Jensen stood face to face with Jared.

 

"What the...?!" He said, but stopped before another word slipped his lips.

 

*******

He couldn't believe his eyes. In front of him stood an angel.

That was the first thought that crossed his mind, until he noticed that this guy was sort of transparent.

He looked... dead? Jensen frowned. A ghost? In his house? Well, at least that would explain the moving pencil in his living room, and then again… An actual ghost? In his house? Great…

It would also explain the feeling of loneliness and sadness he felt since moving into this house.

Nevertheless he had to ask.

 

"What the hell are you doing here?" He shouted and stepped closer to the young man, who looked at him first in amazement, and then with fear.

 

"I... I live here." Jared answered frightened.

 

He couldn't explain why suddenly Jensen could see him too. Could it be that everyone who entered the room could see him? That the Polaroid’s held some sort of power that made it possible for others to see him? That must be the reason. Since his memories were captured on the Polaroid’s, they must somehow make him strong enough to allow others to see him, when he was with them in this room.

 

"Ahh, yes. You live here? How come I've never seen you before?" He asked and looked into his transparent hazel eyes.

 

"I don't know. Normally no one can see me. You two are the first one's in years that I've been able talk to." He answered and looked back and forth between Jensen and Shawn.

 

"You know, this room looks like something right out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show." Jensen looked around the room, and for the first time noticed all the pictures on the walls.

 

He looked at his son and his friend and smirked when he noticed that both of them wore the same expression.

 

"Never mind." He answered and sighed.

 

"Okay, now that we have that cleared up. How about we plan the housewarming party?" Shawn interupted the two adults and looked up at them.

 

"Yeah, we can do that. Want to join us ehm..." Jensen looked at the young man before him.

 

"Jared." He answered and Shawn ran over to his father.

 

"He's Mrs. Padalecki's son. You know, the actor?" Shawn looked at his father, who looked in amazement at the young man.

 

"Wow. That's some news. Well, then, do you want to join us, Jared?" Jensen asked again looking at Jared, who merely nodded in response.

 

The threee of them left the room, and Jensen closed the door behind him. Not one of them was amazed by the fact that they could still see Jared.

 

*******

During the week, Shawn and Jensen got to know Jared a little better. He was a huge help in planning the housewarming party, which they had decided to give a Halloween theme, killing two birds with one stone.

Jensen didn't want to plan two parties when he could manage to have two in one.

 

One evening, the two adults even talked about the fact that Jared didn't seemed to be really dead. They talked for hours about what could have been Jared's unfinished business, but neither one of them could come up with a solution for Jared's problem.

Shawn had nearly knocked his lightes out when he first suggested to burn Jared’s bones.

It was a suggestion, but as his son had put it out it apparently worked only on ‘bad-ass’ ghosts. Not gentle ones such as Jared was. 

Neither one of them could come up with a reason why Jared didn't leave when he died.

And why he was in this house, a house that he never entered before he died.

Jensen was of the opinion that the fact that his mother wanted to hand the house to him had something to do with it, but Jared thought that it had something to do with the two Ackles men. That they were destined to move into this house.

They just couldn't explain why, although both of them had their own opinion, but they were too frightened to say their thoughts out loud. Since Jensen could now see Jared, the young man had lost the ability to read the man's thoughts.

 

During the week the two of them also discovered that they had a few things in common, and to Jensen's amazement, for the first time in his life he liked talking to someone. He got used to talking with Jared after he took Shawn to his room to sleep.

In that time, they began to like each other. Some might have even went as far as to have said that they loved each other.

Neither one of them mentioned their feelings for each other, because they knew that they never could have a real relationship. Not as long as Jared was a ghost at least.

 

*******

Halloween and the housewarming party came around and Jensen was worried.

 

"Shawn! Have you seen Jared today?" Worried he looked around his son's room.

 

"No, dad. I've searched for him already too. He isn't in his room. I don't know where else he could be." Frowning the boy looked at the worried expression on his father's face.

 

"You don't think that he has disappeared, do you?" Shawn asked terrified and stood up from his bed.

 

"I don't know Shawn. I have to go back downstairs. The family is coming soon. Don't worry. I don't think Jared would disappear without telling us goodbye." He tried to calm his son.

 

_'At least I hope he wouldn't.'_ He thought to himself and went back downstairs.

 

*******

Everyone was there. The music was playing loud and Chris was being his usual self. Always bitching in his ear. But this time, it didn't bother Jensen. He didn't even listen to his best friend. He looked over to his son, who also wore a worried expression. Neither of them had found Jared, and they had searched everywhere. They even searched in the basement, but hadn't found anything.

He held up his hand to stop his friend's bitching.

 

"If you'll excuse me, I think my mother wants to talk to me." He went over to Donna, never taking his eyes off the stairway.

 

"Dad, can I play the Casper song?" Shawn pulled at Jensens black coat and the man nodded.

 

"Sure thing Kiddo." He looked at his son and tried to smile, but failed miserably.

 

He was still worried and wondering where Jared could be, he missed him already. Just then he heard the first accords of a beautiful song.

 

_Every now and then_

_We find a special friend_

_Who never lets us down_

 

Jensen's eyes grow wide when he saw the most beutiful guy he'd ever seen appear at the top of the stairway. It couldn't be. Jared was alive? How? Without thinking he went over to the bottom of the stairway and looked up at him. He was just angelic. He wore a dark-gray tux which fit his body perfectly.

From the other end of the hall he could hear his son screaming out for Jared, but the young man only seemed to have eyes for him.

 

_Who understands it all_

_Reaches out each time you fall_

_You're the best friend that I've found_

 

Whispers could be heard from everywhere. "Who is that guy?" "He's beautiful." "Holy shit, since when is Jensen into twinks." But Jensen didn't listen. He smiled up at his angel. Finally, he was alive. Now they could be together for real. He looked into Jared's eyes, and was shocked to see a sad expression in those hazel orbs. He grabbed for Jared's hand and pulled him into a hug.

 

"Finally, I can embrace you." He whispered into the younger man's ears, and stood back when he noticed that Jared was crying.

 

"Jared, what..." But he couldn't finish his sentence, because now he could see in Jared's eyes why he was so sad.

 

_I know you can't stay_

_A part of you will never ever go away_

_Your heart will stay_

 

"Just this dance." Jared whispered and leaned into Jensen.

 

It felt so good to feel warm and secure again.

Tears ran down his face when he thought about the fact, that he only would have this one last dance.

 

"Can I keep you?" Jensen whispered in his ear, but Jared shook his head.

 

_I'll make a wish for you_

_And hope it will come true_

_That life would just be kind_

_To such a gentle mind_

_If you lose your way_

_Think back on yesterday_

_Remember me this way_

_Remember me this way_

 

"I just want you to know that I love you Jensen. Never forget that." He leaned back and pressed his lips to Jensen's.

 

He already felt the power leave his body. It wasn't long until he would completely disappear. He couldn't stop himself from crying. It was all so wrong. Finally he had found love and safety, and now it would all just disappear, because he‘d found his unfinished business.

 

_I don't need eyes to see_

_The love you bring to me_

_No matter where I go_

 

"I love you too. Always." Jensen answered after they broke their kiss.

 

With his thumb he wiped away Jared's tears but it was useless. Immediately new tears ran down the young man's face. He took his head between his hands and looked deep into these hazel orbs. He always wanted to remember them. Remember them filled with all the love they held for him.

 

_And I know that you'll be there_

_Forever more a part of me, you're everywhere_

_I'll always care_

 

"I'll always watch over you. No matter where I am, or where I'm going." Jared whispered and pulled back.

 

He looked at his hands and sighed. It was time. He had to go.

He turned around and saw Shawn with tears in his eyes. He waved him over and crutched down the boy came running into his open arms.

 

"Be good to your dad, promise me?" He ran a hand through the young boys hair, a show of affection.

 

Tear filled eyes looked up at him.

 

"Why can't you stay? I love you like a second dad." The boy whispered and hugged Jared.

 

"I know you do. I love you too, Sha. So do you promise me to take care of your father?" He put a finger under the boy's chin to lift it up.

 

_I'll make a wish for you_

_And hope it will come true_

_That life would just be kind_

_To such a gentle mind_

_If you lose your way_

_Think back on yesterday_

_Remember me this way_

_Remember me this way_

 

"I promise." He whispered back and a tear ran down his face.

 

Jared wiped it away immediately. He had to be strong now. For all of them.

 

"Good-bye Shawn. Take care." He touched the young boys cheek and watched as his hand went transparent.

 

He turned around again, and saw that tears ran down Jensen's face. He hated to break the man's heart, but there wasn't any other way. If he had known that falling in love was his unfinished business, he would have tried everything to keep himself from falling in love with this man. But he knew that it would have happened anyway.

He went closer to Jensen and hugged him one last time.

 

"Take care. I love you." He whispered, kissed Jensen and instantly vanished.

 

_And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you_

_I'll be standing by your side and all you do_

_And I won't ever leave_

_As long as you believe_

_You just believe_

 

Jensen remained at the bottom of the stairs after Jared disappeared with tears running down his face. But he didn't care that all his friends saw him crying right now. He felt as if someone had ripped his heart out. After finally discovering that he actually had a heart, it just made having to let go of the only man he'd ever love that much worse. He cried harder when he looked over at his son, who cried even harder for their lost friend.

Shawn was right when he said that Jared, for him, was like a second dad. He knew from the beginning that Shawn hadn't seen only a friend in Jared. For Shawn, Jared was an equal to him, and he had believed the same.

 

_I'll make a wish for you_

_And hope it will come true_

_That life would just be kind_

_To such a gentle mind_

_If you lose your way_

_Think back on yesterday_

_Remember me this way_

_Remember me this way_

 

"Wow. Man that was kind of freaky, you know." Chris went over to him and put his arm around his shoulder.

 

Anger filled his eyes when he looked over to his so called 'best' friend. Didn't he see how heartbroken he and his son were?

 

"Shut up, Christian and go home." He shrugged his arm away and looked at his other guests.

 

"You all go home!" He shouted and ran up the stairs.

 

Shawn was left behind. Tears still ran down his face. He coulnd't come to terms with the fact that after he was finally able to hug Jared that he vanished. Completely. Without turning back. He looked over to his uncle and shook his head. He was such a fool. He would never change. He'll always be the same old Chris, like his father often discribed him. Without looking at the others in the room, he sighed and went after his dad.

 

******* To Be Continued *******


End file.
